After an ambulance ride and admission to the pediatric intensive care unit, I felt like I could finally breathe again. We are here...they will figure out what is wrong with him...he is going to be okay. The doctors examined him, and again, we received, "We just cannot believe how GOOD he looks despite how BAD his lab work is!!" I knew they were right, and yet I knew it was because S's life was in the Lord's hands. At the same time, I still did not think he looked good. I wanted my baby fixed, I wanted him to look like the happy, active kid that he always is....they ran several tests and told us they were 75% sure we were just dealing with a new onset of type 1 diabetes, with DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis), but they were running other tests to confirm the other 25% uncertainty...the next several hours following our arrival he received IV fluids, had labs done every 2 hours, and blood sugars hourly. He slept and we waited...I have to admit I kept waiting for the doctors to come in and tell us they found something else...that he just had an infection of some sort that would clear up eventually...that it really wasn't diabetes...
The rest of the kids, and daddy, finally arrived and were a welcome distraction from thinking about this diagnosis...about DIABETES...and some very precious friends too. They drove almost 2 hours to comfort me...I can't even begin to say how much I appreciated that, and how much they mean to me...we talked, prayed and watched my baby sleep...until at last everyone had to go home.
As he lay there sleeping, I was overwhelmed with emotions...I was SOOOOOO thankful that he was ok, I was overwhelmed thinking about dealing with a lifelong illness, I was terrified that I had almost lost him, I was grateful that even though he was quite sick...he wasn't fighting for his life, like some of the other children in the PICU. They were so busy there, so many pediatric patients, so many sick, sick babies and kids...some of the parents had been there for 2 months with their sick kids!!! :( But, my baby? He was going to be ok :), even if he does have a chronic illness!! Thank you for blessing me Lord, and please use me to be a blessing to one of these other parents!!
I did try to sleep a little too, but that didn't work out so well with the frequent distractions of the lab work. We had an early rising too, S was finally starting to feel better!!! :) He was wide awake and asking to eat breakfast and play the Wii at 5:30am...yep, now I KNOW he is starting to feel better!! :) We had to wait for the endocrinologist to come see him first, before they would let him try to eat. In the meantime, we spent some time cuddling!! <3 He is such a precious child!!! Such a fighter and so brave!! A short time later Daddy and the rest of the kids arrived. Everyone was so happy to see S feeling MUCH better!!! :) His siblings were very worried about him.
Finally, around midmorning the endocrinologist came..."I know you are probably waiting to hear me say, he does not have diabetes...but I am here to tell you that I am very sorry, but your son does have diabetes...." Even though I knew that was true now, he was right, I was hoping he was going to say it wasn't....although, I am thankful my baby is here and alive, I mourned the fact that his childhood, his life, was never going to be the same......I worried if S understood what was happening to him, or did he think, I was just sick and now I am better? The endocrinologist did an excellent job of telling us, educating us, involving the kids, and most of all, telling S this does not have to define WHO he is...he was right, it doesn't, GOD defines who he is!!! :) We spent some time with S then, explaining to him that God has some very special plans in store for his life...and, although we do not know why this happened, we DO know God will be with us every step of the way!!! Then came the explaining and the questions... The hospital had given us a book written for kids about a child who was just diagnosed with diabetes, so S and I curled up in his hospital bed and read it...I love to read to my kids, but I have NEVER had such a hard time reading to them before...I could not stop the tears...I tried, I tried to be strong...but my heart ached!! I managed to get through the book, and I looked at S...he was so quiet during the whole story..."Do you understand?" I asked. " I think so Mom, but is it contagious?" MORE TEARS :(, and a BIG hug, as I assured him it was not!! Then, we talked about grandpa and his Type 2 diabetes...S thought it was neat that him and grandpa had something so important in common, and he gave me a big grin! :) That boy just has a way of melting my heart I tell ya!!! I told him again how brave and strong he was, and that momma and daddy and God were so proud of him....I knew we were going to be ok...God is working something BIG in this boy's life!!
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